Communication

Written By Tammie K. Ross, MSW, RSW  Most couples are not avoiding difficult conversations because they do not care about their relationship. They are avoiding them because these conversations often feel loaded and lead to fights. Sex can trigger fears of rejection. Money can stir up issues of control, security, and trust. Parenting can expose […]

Most couples don’t come to therapy because they have too many problems, they come because they’ve become trapped in a conflict cycle. The original issue might be chores, money, parenting, intimacy, or in-laws, but within minutes the conversation spirals into hurt feelings, defensiveness, criticism, and emotional distance.  The good news? The problem often isn’t what you’re arguing about, it’s how the two of you get caught in the same dance over and over again.

If you ask most couples what they want in their relationship, they’ll often say, “I just want to feel safe”.  But what does that actually mean? “Emotional safety” has become a buzzword in relationship conversations, yet many couples don’t truly understand what it looks like in daily life. They think safety means never fighting, always